Safety In Numbers
01.09.08 - 11:30am
My New Year’s Eve didn’t turn out as I expected. I was looking for something chill and opted for dinner in Sausalito (at Poggio Trattoria, started by an Il Fornaio implant, which had a good deal and delicious food).
After dinner, we ended up at O’Neils Irish Pub (friend of a friend of a friend’s family owns it) for a short while. I was exhausted and not in the mood for a club, but I didn’t want to be a party pooper and so we ended up at Beauty Bar in the Mission for all of 10-15 minutes until closing. It was 2am. Some guys outside Beauty Bar told the FOFOF that there was a place to dance a few blocks away that was like a warehouse.
We agreed to go along knowing that we could leave if it wasn’t what we expected and that at least we had safety in numbers, but as we were walking toward the place, I couldn’t help but think that it’s 2am and the City probably has some sort of ordinance about clubs and/or businesses closing at 2am. If this place is still open and it’s warehouse-like, was it a rave… as I remembered the last time I “accidentally” went to a rave (in the LA area with closing hours at 5am)? Surrounded by people dropping E and trance music was definitely not something I felt like at the time.
The building was quiet and it became clear why because it was a residential building. The exterior even had a sign that said “This is a residential building”. I was left to think what prompted the management to even post a sign like that. Those with whom I shared a car reluctantly walked into the hallway then into what turned out to be the stranger guy’s place. One of the FOFOF’s sisters even commented about having drinks in the car and wanting to get them (code for this is sketchy, let’s go perhaps?). One of the guy’s friends grabbed some drinks and then dropped a glass bottle which was a caution sign to me. My car mates and I were thinking, let’s get out of here, but the FOFOF and sisters stayed since they carpooled.
My car mates and I walked back to the car, drove by the place and called them to make sure they were okay, then notified the FOFOF’s husband of the location just in case. I was really worried about the FOFOF and her three sisters with three stranger guys who may not have the best judgement in an inebriated state.
My car was later discussing how some people have different thresholds. Some are just really friendly and so certain situations don’t seem as risky. I was thinking about the time I was with a friend at Dragon Bar and was concerned with leaving my friend with a guy she had just met. As the DD, I drove them to another bar and then my friend’s place.
It’s a tricky thing to try balancing not cramping your friend’s style but also be concerned about their well-being and safety. And when the situation has crossed your own threshold considerably, at what point do you just let your friend be? Regardless, safety in numbers usually seems like a good way to go.
One time a friend of mine wanted leave with the guy she just met at the club. All her friends had already left and she looks drunk. I was not willing to go with them to watch over her and even though I am not close to her, I can’t just leave her. So, in the end, I suggested dropping her and the new strange guy at a mutual friend’s place. He might be some strange guy showing up at our mutual friend’s place but at least there are plenty of people there and the strange guy didn’t look like he had a weapon on him. I know I cramped her partying style but at least I won’t regret it. It also helped that we are not the kind of friends that don’t hang out on a regular basis so I didn’t care if I ruined her “fun.”
I’ll be up in your neighborhood for the AAOS conference. I registered late and all the good hotels were already booked. I was warned to stay away from the Tenderloin district and found some other hotel about 2 blocks west and 2 blocks south of Moscone. Friend’s of mine in SF said that wasn’t a good idea so I found a place in the Embarcadero district. Problem is that I don’t know if my lazy butt will get from the hotel all the way to Moscone every morning… Sigh. It’s not as cool as the Tech conventions that YOU get to go to.